Hold On My Heart
by Lamanth
Summary: ONE SHOT – He lost her and now he has to go on with his life, but he can’t escape her hold over him. [KaiMimi]


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Beyblade or any of its characters, merchandise, TV rights, ect… (I think you get the point.)

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Summery 

ONE SHOT – I was feeling kinda depressed for one reason or another, and I was in the mood to write a Kai/Ming-Ming fic and this is the result. I think this is the first ever Kai/Ming-Ming fic. If it is, go me, but if it's not don't sue me cus I didn't know. Like all of my work this is just something that happened to float through the empty void inside my head. Like it or hate it please R and R as honest opinions are always welcomed.

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Lamanth: Hey people, that's right I'm back again with another oneshot. What can I say I find chapters hard work. And now over to dedication. 

_Dedication:_ This fic is dedicated to **Iluvbeyblade,** who is in the middle of taking her SATS and this is just our way of saying good luck. So Iluvbeyblade this is for you.

Lamanth: Thanks for that Dedi.

**Muse:** Can you two get on with it already?

Lamanth: Sorry. As always sorry for any bad spelling and if you feel the need to through thing at me please wait until I've hidden behind the sofa kay?

M**use: **On with the fic!

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_Three photographs, a letter and my memories,_

_Are all I have to fill this space,_

_Now you've gone, now you've gone,_

_I keep missing you,

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**Hold On My Heart**

A frigid wind played with the skeletal from of trees. In the light given off by the sliver of moon, the landscape looked both foreign and foreboding. A young man of eighteen walked slowly along the side of the road. His head was bent, slate hair falling forward to certain a pale face with was drawn and detached. Four royal blue shark fins were tattooed on his cheeks beneath eyes that used to be flaming crimson and burn with a bright fire, but were dull and sunken. His hands were thrust deep into the pockets of the light black jacket, his only protection against the light snow that was falling around him.

The church clock struck three as Kai Hiwatari came to a holt before the ornate Iron Gate that gave entrance to the cemetery. Sighing softly he reached out and pushed the gate open. Then almost with out looking he followed the same winding path he had many times in the past three week. Until at last he came to a stop by a marble headstone with the simple inscription:

_A Star On Earth, A Star In Heaven_

_Ming-Ming Pellow_

_27.05.1988 - 20.11.2005_

_This World Was Never Meant For One As Beautiful As You_

Kai just stood staring at the word etched into the cold stone as tears began to well in his eyes. As he looked to the final resting-place of the only girl he had ever loved, the girl who had been taken away from him the tears fell. The grief over came him as he dropped to his knees at the frozen graveside of his lover who had taken her own life.

Kai's POV

Love. Love makes all the choices for us. And when my heart chose her, I was powerless to do a thing about it. She effected me like no one ever has, before or since. And now she's gone. The most beautiful girl I ever saw, and she was mine. No one else's, just mine, all mine.

She was a star. Not as in she was famous, though she was, but there was a side of her that only I ever saw, the real star. Distant, and bright, but intense. White hot and so intense it seemed that she would burn you with that intensity if you to close.

But I was the only one who ever got close to her, and she did burn me. When she left me, I have never felt pain like that before. Emotional distress so powerful it was like a physical pain. Pain and gilt. Gilt that I hadn't been able to hold on to her. Gilt that I hadn't been strong enough to support her when she really needed me to. I failed her.

I think I loved her from the moment I first saw her, I just didn't know it. When I left my team I told myself it was because I had something to prove, and it was a least partly. But partly as well I think subconsciously that I just wanted to be closer to her.

I remember the first she smiled at me. I was turning the corner of the corridor in the BEGA stadium and she was coming the other way and we walked straight into each other. She reached out and grabbed my arm to keep herself from falling, and looked up and her smile made me feel like an electric current was running through my body. From that moment I knew I had to have her as my own.

The more time I spent with her, the more I needed her. I had never thought it was possible to become addicted to another person. She was at once the simplest and the most complex person I had ever met. The public persona wasn't really who she was; the worldly girl who strutted on stage was the mask she wore to keep herself safe. She told me she had to have this façade. Otherwise everyone wanted a piece of her. And she felt suffocated by it. She didn't trust anybody. Everyone lied to everyone. So it was safer to keep everyone at a distance and let them think what they wanted.

This was why she had let the rumours about her spread. I was surprised and also somewhat pleased the first time I took her to bed to find that she was still an innocent. Later she told me that she never wanted to be with anyone but me, and made me promise to never leave her. I never thought she would be the one to leave me.

We found a solace in each other that neither of us could find anywhere else. We were to halves of one whole. My grandfather, who tormented and used me, her father who hated her and blamed her for the fact her mother had died in childbirth. She made me complete and now without her touch my life will be lonely.

At times she could be so wise and clam, but others she would be like a small child and need comfort and me to hold her. The years of being ignored by her father and his subsequent rejection dissipate all her attempts to win his love and affection had left her insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

My depressed angel. For this is what it was, depression. And it was this that took her away from me. As close as I got to her there was always this small remote part of her that she kept locked away from everyone. Even from me. Gilt is a very privet thing and I think she too blamed herself for what happened to her mother.

So now I'm alone. Just when we had began she took her love away. But I know there will never be anyone like her. She got under my skin and into my blood. She was all every wanted and now I'm meant to go on with my life, but with out her my life has no meaning.

Ming-Ming Pellow will always have a hold on my heart.

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Lamanth: So there we have it, what do you think? I've wanted to write a fic with this pairing for ages and I finally got round to it. Please review, as I'd love to know what you think.

_Dedication:_ There you are Iluvbeyblade, hope you liked it.

**Muse:** Laters all.

Big luv see ya

Lamanth


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